AKA Marcus Valerius Martialis, AD40-104. (Old for a poet, especially a Roman.)
You are a stool pigeon and
A slanderer, a pimp and,
A cheat, a pederast, and
A troublemaker. I can’t
Understand, Vacerra, why
You don’t have more money.
You sold a slave just yesterday
for 1200 sesterces, Cal;
at last the lavish dinner you’ve
long dreamed about is in the pan.
Tonight! Fresh mullet, four full pounds!
You know I’ll not complain, old pal,
about the food. But that’s no fish
we’ll eat tonight; that was a man.