“You don’t like me, do you? Would you photograph me?”
“I would charge you a million dollars.”
The Zodiac Legacy #1
Each animal of the zodiac has superpowers, and when a megalomaniac figures out how to harness those powers, his employees rebel, taking some of them for themselves to fight him. All this backstory info drop is for the benefit of the new computer expert the bad guy is trying to hire, but it comes off a bit ham-fisted, and the pacing doesn’t get any better.
Meanwhile, the good guys are looking for a new HQ on Tiger Island, a place so modern it has holodecks, which is where they are when they’re attacked. The battle takes up most of the rest of the story, though of course there’s a twist at the end.
It was tough to figure out who was on which side; when the Dragon finally showed up I had to go back to the beginning, where each zodiac animal was listed, to make sure I had it right. Might have to give this a little slack as it’s the introduction to a new series, but there were still things I thought could have been done better.
As for the artwork, there’s plenty of bright colors. Other than that, not much I can say about it. There’s a newsletter and artist bios at the end.
Cat vs Human Fairy Tails
The cover shows a blonde princess with a Rapunzel braid surrounded by kittens and actually saying “Squeee!” She also says it when a prince shows up. I’ve never known anyone to actually SAY it rather than just written, so that’s unusual right away.
The title is misleading. Goldilocks, the Little Mermaid, Sleeping Beauty, and many others don’t have any kind of fights with the kitties, quite the opposite. It’s all meant to be cute for kids, and it is, unless you have one of those tots that questions everything. Most stories end on a positive, if forced, note. Jack and the Beanstalk had a good twist, as did Sleeping Beauty. The Little Mermaid looks happy, but c’mon.
Oh Joy Sex Toy V. 3
When the intro starts with the salutation of “Dearest perverts,” you know this isn’t going to take itself too seriously.
This is mostly reviews of sex toys, graphic in the original sense of the word: as drawings. I had been wondering how well the male sleeve cleaned up when the other shoe dropped; definitely agree with his thumbs (or other body parts) down on that one.
A character from Star Trek shows up. Wall-E makes a cute cameo too, so these people aren’t just sex geeks. Good. There’s even a public service announcement on an STD between reviews. And when one review is short they talk about TV shows.
There’s a report from a sex party; I would go just for the soda, snacks, and massages. The chapter on the woman freaking out at her first uncircumcised penis was a bit of an eye opener; had no idea that was such an issue. Probably the most interesting chapter was the conversation on how they were invited to be in an actual porn movie, going through the pros and cons.
English class tidbit of the day: “labia” is plural; “labium” is singular. And as always I laugh when people get “psychosomatic” and “psychic” mixed up; at least this time it was on purpose.
They say goodbye while riding on a giant snail; don’t wanna know what that’s about.
The book proper ends around the two-thirds mark, at which time there are guest strips. For example, a woman has sex with a creature made out of ice cream. Nice fantasy; that must be the female equivalent of the guy who wishes his one-night stand would turn into pizza. Another seemed like just a long ad for Grindr. The couple who get hurt doing fantasies on their anniversary was funny. There’s an old-fashioned public info piece where an old researcher is trying to lecture and write while getting a blowjob. “Rectum’s a funny word.” “It sure is!”
So this got silly a few times, but that’s perfectly okay. If there’s one downside to it it’s the large size; there are so many vibrator reviews in one edition that it was easy to get overwhelmed. The artwork is done to be funny, and it is.
A scientist in our world creates a portal to another dimension—one where monsters rule supreme! An expedition goes into this universe, where hope has died and Godzilla is the unrivaled King of the Monsters. But what happens when a baby kaiju hitches a ride back to our original, monster-less dimension?
The exposition is quick and clunky. That’s why Godzilla is top dog; moving on. As you’ve guessed from the title, there’s only one way to get rid of the monster that came through the portal and is eating up East Coast cities. Nukes don’t work, so send out the quickly improvised tech! Plan after plan goes wrong, otherwise it would be a short story.
“I got a bad feeling about this.” That’s the one Han Solo quote you never want to hear.
At least I can say I wasn’t expecting that ending, which I felt was a cop-out. The artwork was fine, the story not so much.