Book Reviews: Spain, Emojis, and Star Trek

Lao Tzu
We make a vessel from a limp of clay; it is the empty space within the vessel that makes it useful.

A Darker Sky
In the first of a new mystery series, a woman on the run from a stalker goes to a yoga retreat and is killed after a hookup. The amateur detective in this case is the editor of the Scandinavian weekly, soon assisted by a former cop now working for the embassy.
This is one of those stories that takes place in two timelines, the present and an incident from the past, though the way it was first written made me think it happened earlier that day rather than years ago. At this point I guessed the killer. . . though I admit I changed my mind a few times between then and the reveal. While not sympathizing with the killer, gotta admit I wasn’t devastated when the final victim got his. And despite not going into detail, the settings were well done. I’ve been to these Spanish islands and I don’t remember them being big enough for all these places, but then I wasn’t there very long. I certainly had no idea so many Scandinavians lived there.
There were some early clues that didn’t seem like clues at all, making me wonder why they were included; the most dramatic of them was the minister having sex with the male masseuse. By the end I realized this led to some really good twists when it came to suspects. . . so good, in fact, that it made me wanna go back to read previous stuff from these authors.

How to Speak Emoji
This author rewrote Moby Dick with just emojis, so he’s the right person to do this book. This seems more impressive than the Peter Rabbit edition of hieroglyphs, but then it’s a lot easier to make an emoji of a whale.
This book starts with a dictionary, from the most simple onward. But by the time you get to the phrasebook and idioms it seems like more work than it’s worth. The pickup lines are the worst I’ve ever heard. . . wait, I’ve never heard a good one. Never mind. Insults, on the other hand, I can get behind. (That’s what she said.) The proverbs are fairly funny, reminding me of a similarly-themed book I had for Latin. Even better were lyrics, though I don’t know if anyone who likes Love Is a Battlefield will figure out that emoji chain. Eye of the Tiger, on the other hand. . .
But it’s the movies and TV shows section that’s the funniest, particularly Fight Club. Breaking Bad is novel-sized!
I’d imagine most people use emojis to emphasize what they’d written; this book is mostly about substituting for words completely. It’s fun for a while, but I wonder how many people would actually use it. . . well, I suppose if you cut and paste. . .

Lone Wolf
A tiny redheaded veterinarian in Montana falls for a rancher while treating an injured eagle. If only life was that simple. Sigh.
It doesn’t matter where you set a romance novel, or what kind of fantasy character you put into it (in this case a wolf shifter, of which there’ve been a lot lately); in the end you know there can only be one outcome, regardless of how many obstacles are randomly thrown at them. What I did find amusing was how in this story’s universe shifters are known and accepted.
The prose quickly left me bored. Every other paragraph talks about how much she wants him; I didn’t understand her any more than him. He’s of course an alpha who tries really hard not to fall for her, for one of the few reasons ever used in these kinds of books.
This had possibilities–different settings and circumstances that gave it a chance–but those were thrown away to make it generic, so that by the end it was nothing special.

Boarding the Enterprise
A few months ago I read a book about Star Wars that was a retread trotted out because of the new movie. Now with the 50th anniversary of Star Trek the same thing is done here, with a book written ten years ago for the 40th anniversary.
Basically this is a collection of articles, much like a fanzine in the early days. There’s a piece on some classic sci-fi stories that were adapted to Star Trek, and I agree with the author when he wondered how great it would have been had others been done, especially Sir Arthur C. Clarke’s The Star. But then you get another chapter that was simply author bios. C’mon.
One chapter that started out interesting was a discussion about how the Prime Directive, while a good idea, probably wasn’t, but even that succumbed to overthinking. Possibly the best entry was a funny one that reminded me of an Asimov short story, a report on Earth done by an alien. I love this part: “crew members being flung from their seats by various impacts on several occasions, and the resources to install improvised seat belts were clearly available; we must conclude that either seat belts were unknown, or there were reasons not to install them that outweighed the obvious benefits.” The conclusions are hilarious.
Another great line: “It’s not some utopian dream of peaceful cooperation that has prompted the Federation, but the perceived need for defense— the Federation serves the same purpose as a street gang.” There’s a fantastic argument for why the most trustworthy officer on board is Scotty, but this pretty much exemplifies the few good aspects of this book: “It’s easy to find faults, but without Star Trek, I would never have become an astronomer.”
Unfortunately there’s more that doesn’t work than does: it’s much better than the Star Wars one, but that’s not saying much.


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