Book Reviews: Space Love

His Human Vessel
In the continuation of a series I’ve grown to love, an alien doctor buys a slave for breeding purposes, as his race was almost wiped out, but he’s a man—or alien—of science and claims not to want her. She knows better.
Not quite as good as the previous four in the series, but still better than most stuff in this genre. As always I enjoy the human female characters; it was easy to feel for her and her dilemma, even feel sorry for her. Despite him being the supposed authority on human females for his kind, advisor to the ruler and all that, he’s just as clueless, if not more, than the previous guys. Sometimes that was fun, sometimes annoying, but in the end it worked out well that way.
4/5

Her Mate and Master
From the same series as above, but with a twist. Unlike the previous stories, rather than buying a human slave, this young heroic alien goes undercover to rescue one of the last females of his race, who also happens to be the daughter of his sensei. Of course things don’t go as planned and they have to make a run for it, with him desperate to have her but not about to dishonor her—or rather her father—despite her obvious willingness.
Even though she wasn’t human, she wasn’t that much different than the others. The story was pretty much the same; not that that’s a bad thing, but something a little less formulaic would have been nice.
I liked the female character, but not as much as the previous human ones. The story didn’t seem as fun either, though still good.
3.5/5

Alpha’s Temptation: A Billionaire Werewolf Romance
A former hacker wants to go legit with a corporate job, and ends up trapped in an elevator with the big boss, though she doesn’t know that at the time. Turns out he knows exactly who she is, though at that point he’s not aware she’s the only person ever to beat him in cyberspace.
He’s a usual rich asshole, as well as a werewolf, the loner type. But of course he wants her, and despite all her previous feelings about men she gives in rather easily. This is one of those rare stories where I didn’t feel all that great about the heroine; I should have liked her, especially her wicked/nice personality, but she didn’t work for me. I hardly ever like the guys, and there’s no exception here.
3/5

Second to None
Seven years ago he lusted for his friend’s wife, so much that he cut himself out of their lives from the guilt. So complete is his withdrawal that he didn’t know his friend died. Now they reconnect, and of course he’s a hunky millionaire. She wants money for her children’s services center to expand to dog therapy.
This novella is classified as an erotic love story—though the sex scenes lacked any real heat—but it was the other elements I enjoyed more. For instance, I would have preferred more of her great kid. What really annoys me, though, is that this romance wouldn’t have happened if he wasn’t rich.
It’s strange, because usually when I like the main characters, the story doesn’t matter as much. And I didn’t mind the story, but I still feel disappointed, partly because it was money and the death of her husband that allowed this to be a happily ever after.
3/5

Gunnar
In what is thankfully a short story, Vikings raid a village after a festival, when everyone is drunk and easy pickings. The leader goes off to rest in the previous lord’s room and finds a gorgeous blonde tied up waiting for him, expecting the previous ruler. Though a virgin, she’s smart enough to play along so as not to be punished. Blindfolded or not, she figures one is as good as another, and of course ends up enjoying it.
Feels historically accurate, but I’m not interested enough in this period to look it up myself. I do like that it was more than just straight-up sex, despite the short length. No big deal, just fun.
3.5/5

Tempted & Taken
A Russian lass, having taken a friend’s identity, is on the run in Texas, where she wants to be mentored by a rich handsome computer genius. . . and have sex with him too. He has a large improv family of brothers, mostly from his time in foster care; I have not read the previous books in this series, so that’s all I know.
These types of books are rarely about plot; all that’s needed is that it not come off as stupid. This story actually did a pretty good job of getting the leads together in a realistic way. As always, I think it’s a good book if I like the female character, though in this case I think it’s well-written anyway, with plenty of little moments to keep me entertained. There was one scene about ¾ of the way through that seemed to drone on and on, but other than the fact I don’t think a Russian mob would simply let things go without being honor-bound to revenge, that’s the only negative I have for this.
I was disappointed, however, in not getting a shot-by-shot account of the skeeball game. . .
4/5

;o)

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Book Reviews: Sci-Fi Twist

Here There Be Dragons
In a future where two huge conglomerates fight for supremacy in space, a law enforcement official investigates one of them, because his brother works for them. Instead of doing his job he falls hard for the local AI genius caught between the two companies.
This is the second in a series, and I wish I’d read the first, because that one had the Del/Sun story, and he doesn’t get much here. Some of the world building might have been in that one too, and therefore missing here. On the other hand, the best parts are the descriptions of the company headquarters and other places—the party near the end comes to mind—as well as the accounts of the ships moving through space in their unique way.
The strangest thing is that this book is billed as an erotica, but nothing such happens until near the end.
3/5

Strange Music
For many years I thought there was nothing better than seeing a new Alan Dean Foster novel was out. I started reading him about 35 years ago, when I was in high school, and that was the Flinx series, which is still going, as proven by this latest book.
There was a bright spot for me at the beginning, where Flinx and his lady friend—finally!—are living on Cachalot, which was the scene of one of my favorite early books. But then he’s convinced to go on yet another mission, thinking that after all this time there’s nothing he can’t handle. As always, he’s wrong.
In this story the twist is that he can’t read the emotions of the natives of this new planet he’s sent to, or more precisely he can’t read them when they’re talking. The people speak in a singsongy tone, which I enjoyed at first but quickly gave me trouble, which surprises me. It’s a fun excuse for the author to be even more verbose than usual.
This is typical ADF in its worldbuilding as well. He loves inventing new creatures and geographies, and while nothing will ever be more wild and strange than the lifeforms in Sentenced to Prism, there’s some fun stuff here too.
If there’s a word for this, it’s “typical.” There’s a sameness to previous plots, not just Flinx but even his Star Wars novels, as well as Icerigger and Spellsinger. It feels like he’s more interested in going crazy in his worldbuilding and doesn’t worry about plot anymore. But even if this is a typical ADF story, there’s so much awe in his inventiveness, and his incredible humor, to worry about the frame. Just enjoy the work of a master wordsmith.
3.5/5

(OMG) Don Quixote and Candide Seek Truth, Justice and El Dorado in the Digital Age (LOL)
Candide—after he got tired of his farm—wanders into a bar where Don Quixote is entertaining German tourists with his stories. They feel a kinship and decide to explore this modern world together, with Candide’s ultimate goal to get back to El Dorado.
For someone who’s loved the book for decades, it’s more than a little weird listening to the thoughts of a grown-up and no longer-innocent/naïve Candide. Yes, at the end of that novel he’s lost that charm, but he’s far worse here. On the other hand, his luck hasn’t changed a bit; everything bad still happens to him.
“The conductor leaned in and pointed to his badge. ‘My real name is Cyrano.’” This is the first of many appearances by famous literary—and otherwise—figures. Started out enjoying the Sherlock cameo, until it became—can’t believe I’m saying this—too meta. Luckily there’s more of him later, though I do wish someone could write about him without shoving Moriarty into it too. The entire Star Trek scene was disappointing, anticlimactic; when you get Don Quixote calling Captain Kirk a coward, you know you’re in the wrong book. They appear again near the end, but that wasn’t much better. And those good ol’ Suthin boys Tom Sawyer and Huck Finn turned out to be much bigger jerks than Twain would have ever thought possible.
Proving I am much like Candide, the long philosophical conversations during travel, especially in cars, put me to sleep. This book would have been considerably shorter and tighter without them.
At one point I thought for sure Candide would run into every character from his book, and couldn’t wait to get to Cunegonde. When he did. . . well, it could have gone better, but I’ll bet he doesn’t regret it. Too bad the monkeys from the trip to El Dorado didn’t make it into this one.
I’ve seen the Who’s On First routine done with bands before, but never for this long.
Nuevo Mancha seemed a lot more realistic than Vegas.
There are no words more chilling than “You shall join the other eunuchs.”
So. . . that was longer and tougher going than expected. A silly romp through history and the world, with each new chapter seemingly sprouting at random. Same wacky adventures with a modern twist, featuring two of early history’s most talked-about travelers. Where else would you find so many fun historical characters together?
I’m not at all sure if watching Man of La Mancha a few months ago helped or hindered this reading. . .
3.5/5

Slayers & Vampires: The Complete Uncensored, Unauthorized Oral History of Buffy & Angel
It took a moment for me to understand what was meant by “oral history.” Rather than it being an audiobook or a Homer epic, this takes interviews and puts snippets into a chronological order that eventually makes sense.
In the end it works pretty well, even when you don’t recognize the speaker. A lot of them are recognizable, though, staring from Joss Whedon and including most of the actors and writers/producers. Especially fascinating was the chapter right before the show aired, when everyone was wondering if Buffy would be a hit or bomb.
3.5/5

;o)

Book Reviews: Plenty of Kids’ Stuff

Chatur and the Enchanted Jungle
Chatur and his usually trusty donkey Gadhu are back for another adventure. Will the human turn out to be the bigger ass like last time?
Of course he does. Chatur is just as impatient as ever, and Gadhu just as laid back as ever, as they go from town to town looking for work, only to find some genie mojo in the forest. It takes little for Chatur to go overboard again.
Classic Twilight Zone ending made it all worth it.
4/5

Riley Can Be Anything
A short story about. . . well, look at the title. Cousin Joe, who’s slightly older, asks Riley what he wants to be when he grows up; Riley has no idea, so they think about it, in pictures and rhyme. Cook, musician, doctor, pilot, all are examined. The ending is a little bit of a surprise.
I appreciate how well the rhyming was, but at the same time the rhythm itself seemed off. Either the author or the illustrator has no idea what a trumpet looks like (hint: not like a sax).
The artwork is all big bold colors and simplistic shapes. Feel like this could have been done better.
3/5

The Monster at Recess: A Book about Teasing, Bullying and Building Friendships
Shy nonconformist Sophie would rather be playing with the monsters from the school that shares a playground with hers than deal with her mean classmates and misunderstanding teachers.
First and foremost, this isn’t a typical children’s book; there’s no artwork or photos, it’s all written (Though there are monsters drawn on the cover). This story would have benefitted from visuals, considering all the monsters an artist would have enjoyed inventing.
As it stands, Sophie breaks rules and lies to go play with the monsters, which isn’t surprising, considering they’re a far better lot than the human girls. Still, I’m not sure parents will appreciate the lengths this author has her going to.
3/5

The Field
A little girl soccer-dances her way through a forest, finally arriving at a field with cows and goats. She gathers everyone she can find for a game, after setting up the goals and shooing the animals off the playing field.
It’s funny that it’s even a question as to whether the game would stop because of rain. Ask any kid and they’ll tell ya it’s more fun playing soccer in the mud. And like the professionals they get a long soothing bath once their dirty clothes are off.
At the end there’s a two-pager of every character playing with a ball, including the moms and the cows. This includes a little blonde girl, who is treated no differently by all the other inhabitants of what I assume to be a Caribbean island, from the Creole-looking version of French tossed in every once in a while (confirmed at the end, with a page of translations).
The artwork is broad, with no attempt at realism, but that’s fine. It’s colorful before the rain hits, and every character is drawn distinctively.
4/5

For Audrey With Love
An unusual story about the friendship between Audrey Hepburn and Givenchy, a fashion designer. Their dual stories play out one above the other, from childhood—with his mom being positive about him wanting to be a fashion designer while her mom tells her she’ll never be a ballerina—on through their careers and their eventual meeting. Once she becomes famous she brings him along.
But the story doesn’t always make sense. On one page he says he doesn’t have time to design for her, but she can buy from the rack; next page it says she appeared in Breakfast at Tiffany’s in dresses he designed for her. An editor missed that blooper.
The artwork is in a broad 60s watercolor style. In some ways this is indeed for kids, especially in the prose, but at the same time it seems more geared for adults.
3/5

Let’s Clean the House
A story told in photos, not more usual types of artwork, about. . . exactly what the title says. It starts in an incredibly messy bedroom, where even the bunkbed is loaded with stuff. . . how can anyone sleep on that?
How messy is the place? There’s an actual line: “Can you find the floor?”
There’s photos of a tidy closet and a laundry basket, but it doesn’t show the effort to get them there. Is this supposed to inspire kids to tidy up? Doesn’t seem like it would do any more than telling them to do it. The tag even says “Want to get your kids excited about clean-up time?” but I don’t see how this will do it.
The formerly messy bunkbed now looks like something in a showroom. A little girl is perched precariously on a bookcase that looks like it’s never been used. Even when you clean up it never looks this good in real life.
Next up is the kitchen, and I’m happy to say it looks worse than mine. The toilet looks like something out of a mansion, or a space station.
Ends with a photo of kids jumping for joy.
All in all, pretty bland.
3/5

Nursery Rhyme Time
Large drawings frame classic stories, like The Cat and the Fiddle; seeing a cat holding a violin is not nearly as unusual as I thought it would be. Others include a nattily depressed but dour Humpty before the fall, Little Miss Muffet, Three Blind Mice, and so on. These are the original versions of the stories; can’t help but picture a child asking, “Why did the old woman who lived in a shoe whip the kids before sending them to bed?” And did the pumpkin-eater kidnap his wife and hold her captive?
The artwork is drawn in childish exaggeration, but not so much that you can’t tell how it fits in the story. Some of the rhymes were unknown to me; perhaps they were selected for visual appeal.
3/5

Queen Quail is Quiet
This is the usual alphabet runthrough, with each letter supplying a phrase full of alliteration, though most are too simple to be called genuine tongue-twisters, as the book claims.
A little disappointed in G, which features a giant bunny rather than a giraffe. J seems to be the best one. Some are right on the mark, others are too silly, like the robot radish. I’m sure I’ll never hear about a Zen zucchini being in the zone ever again.
The author/illustrator must have had fun with these, as she paints not just animals but all sorts of things in anthropomorphic form; some of them have to be seen to be believed.
3.5/5

Science Candy
Two kids try to be innovative with their school science project, but spend most of their time at the candy store. The candy man seems to know more about science than their teacher, using his wares to show refraction and geology, amongst other things.
Mostly written with drawings here and there. Some of the scientific descriptions seem to be at least of a junior high level, if not high school. If this is targeted for smaller kids it might go over their heads.
4/5

Discover Cats
Photos of different types of cats—including the skeletal hairless ones that look like the feline version of a Chihuahua—are augmented by small sentences. Other than some factoids, like eye color and how cats don’t like to be alone, that’s it.
The first cat looks quite surprised.
Seems like something small kids would like, as in preschool age.
3.5/5

Chirp
Chirp is a chick—wonder what the others are called—who goes off on an adventure while Mom and siblings are asleep, avoiding cats and falling into buckets of paint, which lead to mistaken identity and crisis.
The chicks are drawn as simple fluff balls on leg sticks, but keep a lookout for the little girl, especially her hair.
4/5

Secret Agent Josephine in Paris
As I always say, it’s good when the title tells you everything you need to know.
All it took was the first sentence to include the phrase “mermaid piñata” for me to know how quirky this was going to be. After all, when the villain is nicknamed “The Cupcake Kid” and likes stray puppies. . .
A flower shop is a good place for a villain to hide as he observes the ditzy agent sent to catch him. Wasn’t at all surprised by the supposed twist. Bug’s arm would have given out long before the fifty-seventh yarn throw. From a story point of view, it’s not well-plotted, to the point where even kids would question some of her decisions.
The flower shop showed a lot of beautiful colors, but some pages were just too cluttered.
2.5/5

Sleep, Baby, Sleep
Different cultures are shown putting their babies to bed. There’s archaic language and attempts at rhyme, but other than that the words do not stand out.
This is all about the visuals, taken from a German poem written out at the end. The artwork shows every brushstroke, and comes off as something a child would do in kindergarten, which I’m sure was the intention, but it’s a bit jarring at first.
3/5

The Tooth That’s on the Loose
With an Old West sheriff narrating, we get an allegory of a tooth that needs pulling. The tooth in question not only wears a cowboy hat, gloves, a gunbelt, and boots, it’s sporting a mustache and bushy eyebrows. That cannot be at all pleasant inside a mouth.
Would have been a tighter story if the sheriff and the tooth fairy were the same person.
That is the strangest-drawn sun I’ve laid tired eyes on in a month of Sundays. . . wow, that lingo is catching!
3.5/5

Amazing World Sea Creatures: Encounter 20 Light-Up Animals
I don’t know how young this is meant for, but with plenty of percentages and words like bioluminescence bandied about on the first page, it can’t be for really small tykes.
There are plenty of photos and graphs. The firefly squid is intriguing, but if it wasn’t so colorful, it would feel like a textbook.
3/5

Amazing World Stars & Planets
A colorful primer on the planets and other objects in the solar system. Each page contains a photo and an interesting fact about the subject. Being giants, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, and Neptune get more pages. There’s a whole section on different types of nebulae.
Can’t help but wonder who named the Sombrero Galaxy.
Ends with a one-page glossary. The whole book is big and bright and hard to miss the information.
4/5

Creature Files Dragons: Encounter 20 Mythical Monsters
“They are the real stars in stories about knights rescuing princesses.” Wow.
European dragons have bad reps, so it’s nice to see the Asian nice ones included here. Ethiopian and Armenian dragons were the most interesting, but none as weird as the cockatrice (which is okay with spellcheck, oddly enough), though the tarasque is close (and not in spellcheck).
The font is difficult to read, but other than that it’s a fun intriguing book with plenty of angry dragons drawn beautifully.
4/5

Creature Files Predators
Not just predators, but apex predators. (Apex predators are the only ones who don’t have other animals hunting them.) Seems like they all have claws, though the most awesome ones belong to the non-predatory sloth.
What is a fossa? I didn’t think there were any animals left in the world I hadn’t heard of, not counting those not yet discovered in the Amazon or such.
Well-illustrated in bright colors.
3.5/5

;o)

Graphic Book Reviews: Dolls, Unicorns, and Bond Buddies

How to Be Perfectly Unhappy
This book argues—for a surprising amount of pages—that there’s a whole spectrum of emotion between happy and unhappy. Fair enough, but it’s a lot of pontificating on what’s really a simple theme. And yet it’s oddly captivating, especially the comparisons made to Pluto and an alien having fun making colorful walls.
“Stay-in-the-same-placers.” I do love new words.
It argues that “meaningful” and “compelling” don’t make for happiness, but it’s what some of us like to do anyway. He uses running, reading books, working as examples of things that don’t make him happy but he enjoys doing. (I’ll go along with reading.) “I’m not unhappy. I’m just busy. I’m interested.”
Some of the artwork is cute, but it doesn’t add much. . . except for the colorful wall. That was pretty awesome.
3.5/5

Laser Moose and Rabbit Boy: Disco Fever
In this story, talking animals play superhero in a universe where chickadees are more evil than wolves, and eagles are afraid of spiders. That, along with fish landing on the windshield, is why the super pair are avalanched by a cargo of disco balls.
Running is always plan B, but yeah, it should be plan A.
“Sorry, Frank.” Yeah, keep your lasers to yourself.
Squirrel claws to the ass will defeat all superheroes.
“You’re really cheesy, but you’re right.” Howz that for a moral?
At the end the good wolf explains why dancing is good for you. . . and then Rabbit teaches disco, with moves even I haven’t heard of.
With a disco ball giant robot, nothing is too ridiculous here. Incredibly silly, but all the better for it.
3.5/5

Quiet Girl in a Noisy World: An Introvert’s Story
As always, I love it when the title hits it right on the spot.
I thought the cover showed some kind of sea monster, until I saw the girl peeking out from under the blanket.
In a strip-like storytelling, a young woman in college goes through everyday stuff from an introvert’s point of view. Being an introvert myself, I understand a lot of these. On the other hand, some go a little too far. The total lacking in self-confidence would be a different thing than simple introversion, wouldn’t it?
She has the best boyfriend an introvert could possibly have, who then turns into a husband. After finishing her dissertation and the stressful wedding comes the first real job. . . not exactly what you’d expect from someone who just got an advanced degree.
Oddly enough, she’s such a sweet person I wish I could get to know her better, all the while knowing she wouldn’t want to.
She apologizes to boxes. . . empty boxes.
Some genuinely funny moments, others quite touching. I don’t know if it’ll make extroverts more understanding, but it’s worth a try.
4/5

James Bond: Felix Leiter
A post-shark-encounter Leiter is in Tokyo, working for the Japanese to identify an old enemy/colleague/lover who’s off the grid. There’s a flashback with Bond, and then we find out why Tiger didn’t keep his end of the bargain in helping to catch his gorgeous adversary.
“You had me at ‘Not the French.’”
About halfway there’s a major plot twist that, quite frankly, was easy enough to guess. Though the story doesn’t actually end in a cliffhanger, there’s enough left unresolved that you’d certainly expect a sequel, especially when there’s a character like Alena to write about.
Tight hands and sphincters are a necessity when you’re pretending to be James Bond.
Too bad the writer made what was a proud character such an idiot, as he admits plenty of times. Then there’s the serious inferiority complex. It’s one thing to make the protagonist complicated, quite another to make him seem like a butt monkey.
Brightly painted poppy fields are a sharp contrast from Tokyo, which has a Blade Runner vibe. . . or maybe it’s all the rain. Florida is also brightly lit, but Helsinki looks like an impressionist painting.
There a whopping 35 pages of extras! Variant covers, author interview, and what looks to be the entire script of the first chapter.
3/5

Dollface V.2
The first volume wasn’t written all that well, but I remember enough funny moments from it to give the series another try. This time the three take a portal to El Lay and land just a few blocks from a witch. . . but not just any witch. This one’s a baby-eater. Dollface flattens the clinic she’s in, thereby killing a lot of innocent people.
At Venice Beach she lifts weights, joins a drum circle, plays volleyball, and makes other women jealous. But of course the bad guys aren’t dead yet. And even more of course, the innocent character gets killed.
“You killed my family! Prepare to die!” Why does that sound familiar?
The giant fight scene was so difficult to follow. The artwork is so angular, much like Dollface herself.
Despite some early fun, it turned into as much of a gorefest as the first one. At some point it just stopped being fun and felt more like work. Emily’s reaction was strange as well.
The artwork is brighter than most.
2/5

Be a Unicorn & Live Life on the Bright Side
As always, I love a title that tells you everything you can expect from the book.
There’s not much more to say about it. Everything is positivity, puppies and rainbows. “Eat the cake, but also eat the kale” kinda stuff. All pretty simplistic, but I imagine people often forget.
“Unicorn loves to feel the rain on his cheeks.” No, not those. . . okay, those too. And there’s an obligatory Trump joke, though a mild one. Some jokes are literal, like looking at the bigger picture. Then you get what you’d never thought you’d see, a unicorn on a stripper pole.
The artwork, especially the unicorn, is pretty rudimentary, though he does have the multi-colored horn.
3.5/5

;o)

Book Reviews: Comic Strippies

Phoebe and Her Unicorn in the Magic Storm
As had been hinted back on the comic strip’s internet page, this is a new story rather than a compilation like the previous editions. I don’t know if that’s what makes the difference, and it really is weird reading a long narrative when you’re used to four-panel little stories every day, but this is the best book in the series.
No surprise that the story starts with Marigold staring at her reflection and unable to look away. There’s a unicorn summoning dance. . . why was it not shown? Argh!
“Yes, I am Phoebe’s throne thingy.” Wow, Phoebe and Marigold actually hug! She lifts her leg onto Phoebe’s shoulder.
“Bossy girls get all the goblins.”
“Then I have to warn you there may NOT be a dragon involved.” So in addition to Max’s new unicorn friend in the strips, he’s now chummy with a dragon too.
The costumes alone are worth the price of this book. Dakota would make a better Albert Einstein, though.
The extras at the end include an electricity primer, how to make a phosphorescent drink, a magic trick, and glossary.
5/5

Zen Pencils–Inspirational Quotes for Kids
Big fan, read all the previous books, but I’m pretty sure this is the first time it’s been written with kids in mind. It’s still the same format: a short visual story set around a great person or a great quote. Some highlights:
If you ever wondered where the quote about “Choose a job you love and you’ll never work a day in your life” comes from, it’s Confucius.
Teddy Roosevelt’s “The Man In the Arena” has had a huge resurgence lately, from Dr. Brene Brown to Lindsey Stirling. Another popular one is the Native American legend of the Two Wolves.
Haven’t heard Jack London’s “Ashes or Dust” in a long time.
There’s a lot of superheroes in this.
The basketball girl crashing into the pink smiling monster is hilarious.
Robert Kennedy’s is pretty timely.
As much as I can’t stand Churchill, his was probably my fave.
In the end I didn’t feel like there was that much of a difference between this and the adult version; the stories felt the same. I suppose the artwork was geared more for kids, but this should be enjoyed by adults just as much.
4/5

Wallace the Brave
A comic strip about a kid who likes school but doesn’t want summer to end. He’s got a strange little brother, an even stranger best friend, and I’m not sure how to describe the redheaded girl, other than she’s mostly mean. His parents are surprisingly cool, especially for a tiny place like Snug Harbor. Dad in particular is surprisingly snarky.
To the highlights!
That was a mean trick by the teacher.
Didn’t take long for that big nose to get him into trouble, and even a redhead should know the expression “hornet’s nest.”
“Got two different feet.” Love it when Occam’s Razor is employed in a schoolyard.
“Oddly disproportionate skull.” Wow, big vocab. And yes, backhanded compliments hurt just as much as forehanded.
Some birds spout Greek philosophy, I prefer the one who simply says “Truth.”
“I’m more the ‘Google images’ type.”
“For realsies?” Someone stole my line!
Now I know what that salt on the streets is for. . . mmmmmm, mud pies!
“Like a wildebeest playing a broken accordion.” Yep, I’d pay to see that even if the sound is horrific.
“Science everywhere!”
There’s a kraken on the map, but not close to the sasquatch.
3.5/5

Fowl Language: The Struggle Is Real
As the title hints, this is a comic strip about a family of ducks, mostly the father, and how he copes with his ducklings, which is to say not very well but always funny.
Unlike most comic strips, which usually appear every day, this one doesn’t have a set schedule, and sometimes goes weeks without new material. That gives this collection extra appeal. Also unlike most comic strips, if you read this on the gocomics website they’ll be a link below for an extra panel/punchline at the strip’s website; thankfully those are included here.
“Maybe he’s just screwin’ with ya” is indeed the answer to why kids do anything. Also “I think he’s buffering.”
“I don’t like the way planes taste either!” Genius.
Not as much “laugh out loud” this time, though.
4/5

;o)

Book Reviews: Erotic Sunsets and Massages

Black Light: Valentine’s Roulette
Black Light is a dungeon club in DC, where on Valentine’s Day they set up a game between doms and subs in which the roulette wheel chooses partners and acts. Some of the pairings know each other, which can be good or bad, others are playing for the first time.
Though each story has a different author, there’s obviously a common backstory that has to be adhered to. The main ingredient here is a ton of psychology, more than actual physical events. There’s also surprisingly little sex, although the fact this takes place in a dungeon mitigates that a bit.
No matter how much the thrown-together couples hate each other, they all end up happily ever after. The security guy and the bartender was the most preposterous. The most intriguing featured a new sub paired with an FBI agent out of the game for a long time while he got custody of his little girl. Another intriguing one was the famous starlet, but after a while I couldn’t tell the characters apart.
3/5

Strangers at Sunset
Lady with a lot of problems has a one-night stand with a photographer while on vacation in Florida, only to have it turn into much more, of course.
The book starts with an intense description of her husband dying, then goes to a year later, but considering how often he’s mentioned—for good reason—that opener hardly felt necessary.
As a photographer, I enjoyed some of the stuff here, though I had to laugh at, “How many people get to travel the world and make a ton of money just by snapping pictures?” Cough cough: a TON of money? If I didn’t know it was fiction before. . .
On the other side of it is: “That’s so much more compelling to the average person than bikinis, tans and fake boobs. Although that’s all nice to look at, it’s been done over and over again. I like my work to stand out. Fresh and original is the hope I have for each project. The fact that I don’t go with the expected.” Is this writer in my brain? Spooky.
Okay, back to the story. There’s a huge twist—not gonna spoiler it, but you can guess it easily—that wasn’t much of a surprise at all. More than anything, I am completely shocked she forgave him that easily. What he did was so incredibly cowardly. The most interesting part is how the parents of both her ex and him react basically the same way: “I thought I raised him better.”
3.5/5

Play Mates
A recently divorced lawyer goes to visit her sister and ends up having a one-night stand with an injured footballer, also recently divorced. As one would expect in these kinds of stories, the one-night stand turns into much more.
Since this book is well into a series, there are a lot of people to meet, but because they’re all jammed into the start it’s difficult to keep track of who was who.
As always, I only enjoy these stories when I like the main female character, and there’s a lot to like here. She’s not a typical lawyer, fighting against the death penalty, and even gets a chance to do that unicorn of the profession, freeing a wrongfully convicted man. The surprising part here is how likeable the not-too-alpha-male football player is; much of that likeability comes from his being a dad to his four sons. Because of this, it was strange how long it took for someone to take his side against his ex; it was never clearly explained why she did what she did, so as far as I’m concerned it was all her fault, yet everyone blames him. But once it became about relationships I was reminded why I loved this author’s previous works so much.
Everything was going great until the badass lawyer went stupid, as someone always does at the end of these types of books.
Not the same feel as the superb Random series, but still pretty good.
3.5/5

Ella’s Triple Pleasure: Massage Tales
Masseuse/mother of three teenagers gets set up on a blind weekend, but it’s with a guy she wants, so she eventually caves in. Then two other guys from her past come to town and the competition begins.
That first scene with Garrett was just too weird, and made it tough to get back into the pleasant flow that the weekend with Cade had engendered. Long before Derek showed up I found Garrett creepy, and seeing them together, planning her life without asking her, made it worse. I get that she has a past with them, but considering how reluctant she was to let herself go with Cade despite how much she wanted him, she sure let those two take control of her life pretty quickly. Did not expect her to be such a pushover, and I lost tons of respect for her. Even the way she let them use her sexually, which in other circumstances would have been part of her sensuality, is completely different than the way the character was portrayed at the beginning. The sex was great, but all the surrounding drama makes this a much more difficult read than it had to be.
This is a toughie. Of course we all knew how it was going to turn out, but getting there was the fun, and it wasn’t as much fun as I expected from the great beginning.
3/5

Michael
Submissive woman is concerned that her dom boyfriend is cheating on her with a starlet he’s auditioning with.
Interesting that this isn’t a meet-cute romance; this couple is already together. But then it is a novella.
Despite some fun S&M stuff and Hollywood problems, the frame of the story just didn’t hold together. The plot was barely enough to sustain the story until the abrupt ending, as if the author wanted to get it over with. Not only was it resolved too easily, but they didn’t really earn that happily ever after anyway.
2.5/5

;o)

Book Review: Geek Actually

A thirteen-part serial about five modern women having each other’s backs, mostly through the internet but sometimes in person, as they deal with their jobs and men and such.
Despite each chapter having a different author, the characters had consistent voices throughout, which isn’t easy. It really does feel like a TV series, as with a big cast each episode revolves around one or two characters more than the others.

The characters:
Aditi is a first-time author who doesn’t like the pressure of having to come up with more books, or even blog posts. She fools around, with her husband’s complete support.
Michelle is Aditi’s editor, going through a divorce and discovering BDSM.
Christina is Hollywood’s oldest gofer, falling into a relationship with a loopy starlet. She’s also Michelle’s sister, though you’d never know it.
Elli is a professional cosplay geek, trying to wander through life just enough to get by until she can get back into her fantasy land. Think Kaylee from Firefly, but even more perky.
Taneesha is a video-game programmer whose company gets bought out and regrets accepting a new job where she’s just the token girl/African-American.

Episode 1: WTF
As expected, this is a relatively quick intro to four of the characters, showing them diverse in many ways but strong friends. Aditi’s one-night stand leads the way.
3.5/5

Episode 2: The Invisible Woman
A little more interesting than the first, with Christina added, showing what life is like on a Hollywood set for a lowly gofer. This takes up most of the chapter.
4/5

Episode 3: Boss Battles
For the first time I notice the characters are on the cover, but I can’t tell who’s who yet.
This episode was more sad than the others. Everyone’s life gets worse, though not everyone is in it.
3/5

Episode 4: The Long Con
In real life I would run fast from that actress, but she’s a hoot on paper, or pixel. I can see how Christina got sucked in.
I’m really enjoying this series. Every character is different, but I like them all. Did not expect Michelle to go to the workshop, but glad she did, as I learned some things. . . not as much as her, of course, but fun.
4/5

Episode 5: Beware of Rage Bait
Starts with funny not-spoilers, leading into a brief commentary on Buffy and Angel. Even though these are short chapters, there’s always room for some humor. The rest of this episode consisted of long phone talks to relieve stress and a couple of sex scenes. . . to relieve stress.
3.5/5

Episode 6: Can You Not?
This was a depressing episode, no doubt on purpose. All three storylines had problems for the ladies, and no sex. There’s rape scenes in movies and racism during fetish play, not nearly as much fun as previous chapters.
3/5

Episode 7: Pussy Bites Back
This one was more upbeat than the last, but some of the depressing storylines continue, and more pop up. There’s still enough funny moments to keep me going, but this wasn’t as fun as the earlier episodes.
3/5

Episode 8: A Dox on Both Your Houses
This goes from one problem to another, and it gets so depressing. Several times I felt like giving up. All the humor of the first few is gone.
2.5/5

Episode 9: Aces Wild
This was my favorite episode so far, especially compared to the last few. All kinds of relationships progressed. Revelations, eureka moments. . . fun to see good characters being upbeat about choices rather than wallowing in misery. Elli in particular has a major breakthrough.
4/5

Episode 10: Well, Actually
After some progress in the previous chapter we get the most depressing episode so far. New bad stuff along with more of the old bad stuff, and nothing positive at all for balance.
2/5

Episode 11: It’s Not Me, It’s You
Neesh with a breakthrough for the good, Aditi a breakup for the good and bad. Michelle just bad. The stories are progressing toward the finale, but it’s gonna take a lot to make this long trip worthwhile.
3/5

Episode 12: System Failure
This episode had the plotlines coming to a head right before the ending. Misunderstood sex and BDSM lead to major problems, which are then left cliffhanging for a big finish.
3/5

Episode 13: Squad Goals
Part of me is sad that their redemption—except for Aditi—didn’t match all the suffering they went through. On the other hand, that’s more realistic, and that’s what this series was aiming for the entire ride, no matter how often I wished it to be a little more escapist.
3/5

Overall: 3/5

;o)